Well…once again…I’ll be “moving” soon! This move won’t be anything like my move (almost) two years ago; I’ll only be moving about five miles up the road from where I am now, so – not too big of a move.
What will make this move a bit different from before is that once again – I’ll have my own space. What will make this move similar to before – I will still be living in my parent’s home…
I’m going to unload a bit here – so I hope you won’t judge me too harshly. I’m just letting my feelings be known because sometimes it helps to share them. Sometimes it doesn’t – and so I’d ask if you have a comment that is less than kind, you keep it to yourself.
|The Model Home…of what will be our home…
Let me level with you for a wee bit before I move on. I am both excited and hesitant to share this…excited for the most obvious of reason…hesitant for a long list of reasons that are both valid and silly at the same time.
I moved to Virginia almost two years ago with grand ideas about getting a job and finding my own house (and if I’m being honest, finding a wonderful man…but let’s not even go down that rabbit hole; there is only much weeping and wailing and no one wants that) lickety split and living a fabulous life. Please read: I am living a fabulous life! It’s just playing out a lot different than I’d planned and that’s alright because it’s playing out the way the Lord has ordained my life to unfold. I was blessed with the most wonderful job almost a year ago and I am thankful each and every day for that job – it has not only given me income and security but has blessed me with wonderful friends that I will have for life and the joy of not dreading the work week because I work with people I actually enjoy being around!
I started 2016 with the goal of trying to find a place to call my own. I prayed and asked that the Lord show me the place that would be right for me – for right now – at this time in my life. I don’t think I’m telling anyone anything new when I announce that the cost of living in Virginia is just a bit higher than it was in Mississippi…and so certainly, that played into my search. I looked into some apartments online – but even one bedrooms (that were in neighborhoods where I wouldn’t get murdered walking the dog…) cost $$$$. I’ve already looked into perhaps buying something…and well, that’s a no go for now. I want more than anything for Watson to have some sort of yard to be able to play in as well…and most of the rentals I saw advertised (and the ones I called about) were NOT pet friendly.
My parents have been going back and forth on looking to buy a house or build a house…and about a month ago they decided to build. The house they chose to build is considered “one-level” living but has a fully finished basement with a rather large “bedroom”, a wet bar/mini kitchen area and a bathroom. What this translated to? My own living room/dining area, bedroom and bathroom in a brand new house – my OWN space…even if it is within my parent’s house. It offers me a chance to have my own one bedroom apartment, where I can finally (finally!!!) unpack my life, decorate my own space and have a place that is my own. I’ll be paying rent – because hello – they are allowing me to live in this large space in their new home…so, duh.
I’m also going to worry…in a rather silly way about what people will think. What does it look like to be almost thirty-two and living in your parent’s basement? Even if you are paying rent? Sometimes I feel downright pathetic to even get excited about this…because there is a part of me that feels like I should be deeply ashamed that I’m almost thirty-two and I’m still living with my parents. Those little voices that get inside your head and tell you that living with your parents when you’re over thirty means you’ve obviously failed in some way…there are voices that speak failure…and comparison…and guilt…and honestly the list goes on and on. The truth is – I have a wonderful job but I am not yet in a place financially (in Virginia’s more expensive cost of living) that would allow me to live somewhere that is both decent and safe, allows for my pet to also be a part of my life and is also affordable to me. It’s hard to admit that – because well…those voices of failure…and comparison…and wondering where I’ve made a wrong turn…
Please don’t read this and think that I am unhappy or in any way ungrateful – 75% of the time, I am so absolutely excited and can’t wait. It’s that other 25% of the time that the voices in my head get to me and I really let it bother me. Yet again…it’s my plans and my ideas getting in the way of the Lord’s plan that is unfolding for me here in Virginia. So – I’m going to do my best to tell those voices to take a hike and enjoy looking at furniture and picking out pieces for my new apartment. I’m going to do my best to not worry about what other people think of me…because in the long run, I am blessed to have a roof over my head and place to call home. Everything else doesn’t matter – right?
A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.