Adventures in Adulthood

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Sure – this thing looks cute. Appearances can be deceiving.

Firstly – I have no clue why the picture editor makes the white border so large at the bottom. Makes no sense to me, but there you have it. I guess it thought I was going to write a novel about the mouse. I’m gonna write a post about mice, but the picture caption really need not be that long. Anyway, I digress..

Almost a month ago I opened the door of my bathroom cabinets & noticed something that looked a lot like mouse poo. I got to investigating & sure enough – that was what it was. I freaked out, mildly. I figured that for sure it wasn’t too big of a deal because I hadn’t actually seen the mouse so maybe it had only popped in once to nibble the towels & then left. I still went to the Dollar Store & bought some DeCon, just to be safe. After almost a month of seeing no more mouse “surprises” & the DeCon being baited & set…but never catching a mouse, I was lulled into a false sense of calm. Silly me. Silly, silly me. I’m sure the mouse (mice? More than one of them, oh Lord sustain me…) thought “what an ignorant human…so stupid”.

Monday night; having been lured into this false sense of calm, I was sitting on my couch watching “Castle” – just enjoying some crime drama & chilling out. All of a sudden, from the direction of the kitchen this brownish blur whizzes across the carpet & under the ottoman. When I tell you I froze, I mean – my whole body went stiff & I couldn’t move. I called my Mom in complete panic, about to sob. Over a mouse. Something that might weigh a pound. It probably doesn’t even weigh that, but I flipped out. I thought that the mouse problem was no big deal. I thought the mouse had sensed the DeCon & left, never to return. Just kidding – think again.

I bought traps – regular traps, glue traps, I even hung on to the weird DeCon swirly trap things. Tuesday night at 5:45 I had nine traps set. Yes, nine. I’m nothing if not thorough. I kind of went a little crazy with the cleaning as well. I’d read all this stuff about how if you keep a really really clean kitchen, you won’t be as apt to get mice. I thought I had a really clean kitchen – I sweep & mop regularly & I wipe down the counters & sinks when I am done cooking at night. Apparently that is not enough. I vacuumed the floor, I swept the floor. I scrubbed down the counters with kitchen cleaner…I went a little nuts, making sure everything was completely void of anything that could even be seen as possible food stuffs. And then I went about my business – watched some TV, poked around on the Internet..did my own thing…and then I went to bed & prayed that all the mice near my house would just die or run away & leave me alone. Then the morning came…

I was beginning to think that all the mice had run away & left me alone. I didn’t see any of the traps in the kitchen had been snapped & so I was thinking that I was in the clear & everything was going to be fine. I was standing by my dishwasher & I saw it – a tail. A long skinny tail. I peered around the door frame carefully & let out a scream – there was a dead mouse on the trap! I started the scream loudly & then thought better of it & shut up quickly. What if my scream alerted the mouse? What if it wasn’t really dead & my scream made it suddenly wake up & run at me? All stupid thoughts, but I had them. I called my Mom in a panic & explained that I had caught the mouse…I had caught the mouse & now I had to get it out of the house. Oh crap. What was I going to do now? Catching the mouse seemed like a great idea, but I hadn’t thought about actually having to deal with a dead mouse. Let me just tell you that the next 10 minutes or so provided my Mom with some great entertainment – she was supportive but I also know that she was trying pretty hard not to absolutely lose it laughing at me.

She told me to poke the mouse with my broom & see if if moved. If the mouse moved then I was supposed to leave it alone & let it finish dying while I was at work. This is about the way the conversation went:
Mom: Just poke it & see what happens…it’s fine.
Natalie: “poking mouse” AAAHHHH – OH LORD, IT DIDN’T MOVE!! I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS!!!
M: Yes you can – be brave. This will make you tougher. Just sweep the mouse & the trap into the dust pan. “stifling laughter while she says all this”
I proceeded to sweep the mouse from in between the TV stand & the wall, screaming all the time. I mean, maybe screaming isn’t the best word but I definitely let out some shrieks in the process…or several shrieks. And my Mom was cracking up the whole time.
M: I may wet my pants…you’ve got to calm down. “still cracking up”
N: AAAHHH – THE MOUSE IS IN THE TRASH BAG. IN THE TRASH BAG. I MAY BE ABLE TO BE MORE CALM NOW…Holy Cow. That was terrifying. I’ve never been more awake at 7:10 in the morning before…

So yes – I managed to catch & kill my first mouse. I’d really rather not ever have to do that again. Ever. Then again, if I could bottle the level of adrenaline my body was pumping throughout the experience, I think I’d drink it all the time so I’d be that pumped & awake. I was alert to the extreme. I could probably run for days with that much energy. Maybe I should kill mice more often…since it gets me so hyped up. Of course, my heart racing like that might not be the best idea.

Anyway – I have survived my first “crisis” of sorts. I was concerned about bad weather or power outages or something along those lines…I never even thought of mice. It’s always the thing you least expect, right? This was definitely an adventure – there is no denying that fact. I think I’ve had enough of this particular adventure though. 🙂

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