Just Because….

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I don’t guess I really have a specific topic for today’s blog – maybe just a “what I’ve been up to” kind of thing. I’m chilling (both literally & figuratively) at my desk at work. It could be a slow day today because at 9:30 more than half of the office is StarkVegas bound for the MSU vs. LSU game. Go Dawgs! 🙂 I can’t decide if I want it to be slow or if I want to be given a little job to do that might make the time pass faster. Right now I’m content to type away at my blog.

Why the picture of this kid? Because when you see this you automatically think of Home Alone. And I’m getting even closer to being home alone – which gives me mixed feelings. I’m excited about having my home, the place I can come home to at the end of the day & chill out with Watson (so, okay I won’t be totally alone but try as I might to get him to talk, he just won’t) but I’m not so excited about coming home to a house with JUST a dog. I feel this sense of apprehension that at some point it might get lonely. I don’t do lonely so well. Of course, I also don’t do storms very well either. The other night it started getting windy & the thunder was rolling in the distance & even at 26 (okay…almost 27) I wanted to make sure my Mom was going to be awake for a little while..ya know, just in case things got crazy. I’m gonna have to get over that one. I’m gonna have to learn to be tough – which is probably easier said than done for me. Only time will tell how me getting more tough will go, but I have a feeling that a certain verse from Psalms will become very important to me in the coming days. In peace I will lie down and sleep,for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.” Psalms 4:8 See – that verse even has the word alone in it. So even when I think I’m alone…I know I won’t really be. And that makes me think I might make it.

Speaking of my house – I am obsessed with decorating it! There are so many things I want & only so much money to spend. I still need that rug I’ve had my eye on for my living room & I really want to fix my guest bedroom differently & I want Adirondack chairs for my front porch…I mean, this list could go on & on. Of course, those three things are on the top of the list. The older I get, the more I understand how money works. And the way it works is simple – I get paid money & I turn around & give it to other people so that they will let me live in my house, have lights/air/heat in my house, have running water in my house, have health insurance, have car insurance, have a phone & of course, my favorite one – I pay for the time I spent in school. I essentially earn money to pay back money that was given to me to learn how to make money & support myself. Insane. I’m well aware that I am far better off than most people, but I sure wouldn’t say no to finding a way to make some more money – because I always feel like I am just barely there – financially. Oh, and have I mentioned that I work two jobs? Life is crazy y’all. There is no denying that fact.

I went to Colorado recently – that was a blast! Of course, I’m not so sure getting up at 4:15 on Friday morning was a blast, but hey…I got to spend the day with Lindsey & that made it worthwhile to me. I experienced some new stuff this – of course, it seems like every time I go to Colorado I discover something (or somethings) new. Where shall I start the list?
-I’m not really into rustic. I’m more into fake rustic – as in, it might look rustic but it really costs lots of money & is fancy. We stayed in a lovely little cabin in the mountains & it was rustic. Not fancy but looked rustic. Just rustic. There were all these little “heads-up” things about locking the doors & not leaving out food because the bears & mountain lions would just barge right in if they wanted to. And then they put these doors on the place that look like in one whack a bear could just barge right in!! Sure – they had wrought iron screen doors, but there was a notice not to lock them! I mean, really?? Don’t lock the one small defense against me & the wild??? Insanity I tell you. So I concluded – much as I’ve already known – I’m just not into rustic.
-I am pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before – but graceful is not something I claim to be. I used to be graceful. I took dance for 13 years – I had to have some semblance of grace to do that, right? We hiked, wandered, climbed all over the place exploring the land around our cabin. There were gorgeous rock outcrops, a lake, beautiful Aspen trees…it was all just gorgeous. It was also all on an incline. I managed to do it all in Rainbo flip flops & fare just fine. I mean, sure a plant stuck me in the toe, but life goes on. Lindsey had us climb to the bottom of the Incline, on steep rock strewn paths interspersed with rickety old wooden step. Managed it just fine in flimsy bejeweled sandal. Of course, then my Dad & I went to Florissant Fossil Beds State Park & decided to walk a mile long loop. That was totally flat. No hills. No incline. And it was on that trail that I decided to wipe out. Because obviously walking on flat ground is what gives me trouble. Scratched up my knee, ankle & even managed to tear a hole in my brand new (as in, maybe 14 hours old) athletic pants. The look on my Mom’s face when I returned with dried blood on my knee & pants covered in dust…priceless. As was my Dad’s horrified yelp of “NATALIE!!!” as I crashed to the ground. You can’t make this stuff up people. You just can’t.
-Epic sunburn. That’s really all you can call a sunburn that I still have almost 2 weeks later. Saturday will be two weeks since the AF vs. SDSU game & I am still peeling from the sunburn I received cheering on the Falcons. My nose may never be the same & thankfully my right ear only stayed swollen to half it’s size for a day or two.
-I also experienced a level of fatigue that I think only new parents feel. I slept restlessly on Thursday night & may have only gotten 3 hours of actual sleep before my alarm went off at 4:15 on Friday morning. I made it until almost 8 that night before the trouble really set in – but from then on…I felt like death. I’d been awake for going on 18 hours, with only 3 hours of sleep to support that much activity. I reached a point where just sitting still was too complicated. All I needed was a semi dark corner of a room that was semi warm & I would have probably completely collapsed. It was bad. So bad that I didn’t even feel like eating my delightful pasta at McKenzie’s Chop House. Thankfully, on Sunday afternoon when I came back from wiping out at the fossil park, I had a lovely snack of pasta waiting on me. Because time…and pasta, heal all wounds.
-Star Wars. Nothing really new here – except that I learned that I’m not the only nerdy one in my family because my sister loves watching it too! Nothing says Labor Day weekend like the power of the Force fighting it out against the Dark Side.

I guess that is really about it for Colorado. I’m sure I’ll think of something else that was funny or memorable – like maybe my spazzing out mere moments before we were supposed to go into the Mollie Kathleen Gold Mine. I’m not going to elaborate on that one right now. I’ll leave you wondering.

Work is ever the same. Just keep plugging along, doing insurance related stuff & trying to learn how to do things the way the higher ups want them done & keep everyone happy.

I’m trying to lose weight again – because honestly, I need to. I started drinking Slim Fast this past Monday & so far it’s going pretty good. I almost had a total breakdown last night & wanted to devour the last piece of my Grandma’s birthday cake…but I didn’t. It takes major self control & that is something I don’t really have complete mastery of yet. I’m trying to get past the hunger of the first week – usually if you can make it through that first week of feeling like your stomach is going to cave in & eat itself, it gets better & over time you don’t get hungry anymore. So, I’m living for that moment – since being hungry makes me cranky.

So there you go – my life at the moment. Basically I’m hungry, hanging on to what little money I have & getting ready to go at it alone. Oh, and I’m also clumsy & sunburned. I’m also blessed though – so very blessed. Because in all these things, I am saved by the grace of God & the same grace that saved me will get me through those little day to day struggles that can sometimes seem bigger than they really are. And that makes me think that I might be alright in the end – because it all gets better at the end, so if it isn’t all better, it must not be the end.

But that is the end of this post. 🙂

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