Dogs, Daydreams & Drugs (the Over the Counter kind)

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It’s been almost exactly two weeks – like, literally. I blogged on Friday the 16th at around 1ish – and it’s 12:11 today. So, yep…I’m punctual like that with the blogging.

What is up with me? Not a whole lot really – things have pretty much been life as usual. I’m a bit more sleep deprived than usual but that is really about all that has changed. I haven’t had a legitimately good night’s sleep in almost two weeks – which stinks. My legs have decided to mutiny the rest of my body & so whenever I lay down to go to sleep they start twitching, pinching, tingling & even…if they are really feeling like totally ruining my sleep…jerking. That’s right, my whole leg just jerks on it’s on. And that causes me to jerk awake. It’s great really. My legs have started acting like the equivalent of a crack addict going through withdrawal. I mean – I guess. I don’t actually know anyone who has detoxed off crack & I myself have never done crack, so I don’t know firsthand. I’m just throwing that guess out there. It’s not a good thing – I don’t have to guess about that. The doctor wanted to put me on some serious meds – I’m not sure about it thought because I don’t want to be taking all kinds of meds. Of course, I don’t want to keep missing sleep either & the over the counter sleep druggies just aren’t cutting it anymore, so I’m not sure what comes next. I’d love a full night’s sleep to come next. I love to sleep…it is pretty much one of my favorite pastimes & I am missing out on it. Not cool.

I keep spending all this “quality time” with my Mom because we keep thinking “oh, this will be the last weekend we can spend time together – I’ll be moved by xx/xx/2011″…and yet, she is still here. I’m definitely not complaining about that. I like having company because my dog tends to be pretty anti-social. He likes to come in at the end of the day, eat a little food & then go lay in the recliner in the study for the next 4 hours until I make him go to bed. He might wander through the living room every once in a while on his way to get a sip of water, but that is about it. Last night I was decorating my Halloween tree (because Halloween is awesome & I love it) & he did stop long enough to stare at me like I was crazy as I wrapped purple lights around some black branches. It was good. I love getting strange looks from my dog – it’s nice to know that he obviously thinks I’m crazy. Of course, he could still be mad at me about Monday…not sure.

Watson has never been a “bad” dog & I like to brag about how he never has accidents. Well – I should just stop bragging. Monday at 6 AM when I opened the door to the study to walk on the treadmill, this horrible smell slapped me in the face. There was a lovely spot (not a small spot either) in the middle of the floor where my dog had decided he would get up & use the bathroom – all over my new carpet – my carpet that has only been my carpet for 3 short months. I was not happy. At all. The whole time I walked I was muttering things at him like “your butt is busted mister, I hope you’re happy” & “you better hope it quits raining before tonight, because you’ll be sleeping outside”. I’m sure I was very menacing as I trudged along on the treadmill uttering threats while listening to my dance beat music. Terrifying, no doubt. I take so much joy in scrubbing up dog urine at 7:03 in the morning…but it got better.

It was pouring on Monday morning. Pouring. Cats, dogs & buckets…you know what I mean. Watson hates the rain. I hate the rain when I have to get out in it, so I felt his pain…but I was still ill at having to scrub up his mess & so I wasn’t feeling as sympathetic to his plight as I might have been. It was time to go & so I went to the study & snapped my fingers at him to get up – clapping, snapping & rocking the recliner to get him to get up. He hopped out of the chair, walked to the front door, surveyed the rain & proceeded to go get back in the chair. Great. So I had to pick him up & sit him out the front door onto the porch – into the rain. Let me preface the rest of this story by saying that he has a dog house (a quite nice one) a mere 5 steps from the front door that he could get into & he also has my Grandmother’s front porch (with a roof on it) a quick sprint across the yard, which he is always welcome on. I grabbed my stuff & opened the door to head out into the rain & he sped back in the crack of the door, flying toward the study & hiding behind the recliner. Great. My umbrella had flipped out of my hand, over the ottoman & into the floor. So I went to get him out from behind the chair – he squealed the entire time like I was subjecting him to some horrific brand of torture (and I wasn’t, I swear it.) and place him soundly in the middle of the porch. Again. In the rain. By now, I was wet myself. I grabbed my stuff & plowed out the door & past him – no getting a sneak pass into the door this time. I was wet & cold & seriously angry at this point. Watson sat in the rain & tried to look pitiful – but I was having none of it anymore. Needless to say – he didn’t welcome me home with quite the same joy as he usually does.

So – I’m kind of thinking he was giving me the stink eye last night. He usually would just love on my Mom & look over at me with a look that plainly says “see, I love her because she didn’t stick me out in the rain & you did, so bite me” but since my Mom is out of town, he just has to give me looks of disdain as he passes me on his trek from the recliner to the water bowl & back. Whatever dog. I’ve got your number. You’re playing a game you can’t win. At least, you can’t win it until your Nana gets back & then I’m in trouble because she’d take up for you over me any day. *sigh*

I’m ready for 6 o’clock. Why 6 & not 5? I have to go watch a golf shoot out today after work & I’d really rather not – but sometimes you have to do things you don’t particularly want to do. So I’ll go watch some guys smack some golf balls around, practice my golf clap & then head home. Praise the Lord. I’m gonna spend my weekend entertaining my friend Lisa & being all crafty/DIY with some projects at my house. If they turn out the way I want them to, then I might just post pics on here. I’m sure I’ll post pics on Facebook for sure. If I don’t get good sleep, then I’ll probably be doing some daydreaming at some point on Saturday & Sunday – naps are a good pastime to have. I hope those of you who read this have a good weekend. This is my last weekend as a 26 year old. This time next week I’ll already be 27 – and that is too scary a thought to write about as of yet, so I’ll stop here. Yikes.

Fridays Are Supposed to be Fun….

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Well, I know that technically there is no rule that says that because it is Friday it has to be a good day – but I just had to blog for a minute & rant. I’m not ranting about people who are in bad moods & try to drag other people down. That happened today but I’m not going to touch that one with a ten foot pole. I’m ranting about the Meridian Police.

Today, as I was driving down the road, minding my own business – a cop pulled me over. I was thoroughly confused because since I was in downtown Meridian I’d been going all of about 20-25 miles per hour, I had on my seat belt (remember that part, it’s important) no lights were out, I wasn’t on my phone. Nothing. So, I pulled over & sat there in confusion. The officer came up & the conversation went like this:
Officer: I pulled you over because you aren’t wearing your seat belt.
Me: *said nothing & just looked at her because I am sitting there wearing my seat belt*
Officer: You put your seat belt on after I pulled you over, didn’t you?”
Me: “No ma’am”
And then the woman disappeared back to her car with my driver’s license. And she was back there for way too long. Of course, when she came back – she had a ticket for me.

I got a ticket for something I didn’t even do! Of course, you can’t flip out on a cop – that would have only resulted in worse things. I didn’t really want to get arrested. I have things to do this weekend – like sleep late, watch McKenna cheer at the football game & convince my Mom to watch “Thor”. The ticket is only for $25, so it isn’t even so much the money aspect that makes me angry. I’m just ill that someone accused me of something I did not do. That’s happened to me before – I have not so fond memories of it. Want to hear the tale? I’ll share.

In kindergarten, I napped by a little girl named Shareka. One afternoon when we woke up from our naps, someone had colored all over the wall with a red crayon. It wasn’t me that did it. For one thing – I like sleeping way too much to waste a chance at a nap to color. We colored all the time in Kindergarten – I wanted my sleep. Guess what Shareka told the teacher though? That Natalie had colored on the wall, not her. And for whatever insane reason, they believed her! Even though I told them again & again that I had not done it, they wouldn’t listen to me. I guess they assumed I had done the art work & now I was lying to them – which constituted a double offense. So I got a spanking – at school. To make matters worse – I then got a spanking when I got home…because if you were bad enough to get one at school, you were definitely going to get one at home. The next day Shareka fessed up & told the teachers that she had done the coloring, not me. The teachers apologized & my parents were sorry too…but I’m pretty sure I was scarred for life. The memory of getting a spanking not once, but twice in one day was just too much for shy, quiet little 6 year old me to handle.

I’m all for taking the blame if you did something wrong. If you do the crime – you pay the time. But…In that situation & this one today, I didn’t commit the crime. And yet I’m going to be doing time time – so to speak. Not cool.

I think my Friday is going to get better from here. Don’t see why it shouldn’t. It’s going to be hard to part with that $25 when the time comes to pay that ticket though. Geez.

Just Because….

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I don’t guess I really have a specific topic for today’s blog – maybe just a “what I’ve been up to” kind of thing. I’m chilling (both literally & figuratively) at my desk at work. It could be a slow day today because at 9:30 more than half of the office is StarkVegas bound for the MSU vs. LSU game. Go Dawgs! 🙂 I can’t decide if I want it to be slow or if I want to be given a little job to do that might make the time pass faster. Right now I’m content to type away at my blog.

Why the picture of this kid? Because when you see this you automatically think of Home Alone. And I’m getting even closer to being home alone – which gives me mixed feelings. I’m excited about having my home, the place I can come home to at the end of the day & chill out with Watson (so, okay I won’t be totally alone but try as I might to get him to talk, he just won’t) but I’m not so excited about coming home to a house with JUST a dog. I feel this sense of apprehension that at some point it might get lonely. I don’t do lonely so well. Of course, I also don’t do storms very well either. The other night it started getting windy & the thunder was rolling in the distance & even at 26 (okay…almost 27) I wanted to make sure my Mom was going to be awake for a little while..ya know, just in case things got crazy. I’m gonna have to get over that one. I’m gonna have to learn to be tough – which is probably easier said than done for me. Only time will tell how me getting more tough will go, but I have a feeling that a certain verse from Psalms will become very important to me in the coming days. In peace I will lie down and sleep,for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.” Psalms 4:8 See – that verse even has the word alone in it. So even when I think I’m alone…I know I won’t really be. And that makes me think I might make it.

Speaking of my house – I am obsessed with decorating it! There are so many things I want & only so much money to spend. I still need that rug I’ve had my eye on for my living room & I really want to fix my guest bedroom differently & I want Adirondack chairs for my front porch…I mean, this list could go on & on. Of course, those three things are on the top of the list. The older I get, the more I understand how money works. And the way it works is simple – I get paid money & I turn around & give it to other people so that they will let me live in my house, have lights/air/heat in my house, have running water in my house, have health insurance, have car insurance, have a phone & of course, my favorite one – I pay for the time I spent in school. I essentially earn money to pay back money that was given to me to learn how to make money & support myself. Insane. I’m well aware that I am far better off than most people, but I sure wouldn’t say no to finding a way to make some more money – because I always feel like I am just barely there – financially. Oh, and have I mentioned that I work two jobs? Life is crazy y’all. There is no denying that fact.

I went to Colorado recently – that was a blast! Of course, I’m not so sure getting up at 4:15 on Friday morning was a blast, but hey…I got to spend the day with Lindsey & that made it worthwhile to me. I experienced some new stuff this – of course, it seems like every time I go to Colorado I discover something (or somethings) new. Where shall I start the list?
-I’m not really into rustic. I’m more into fake rustic – as in, it might look rustic but it really costs lots of money & is fancy. We stayed in a lovely little cabin in the mountains & it was rustic. Not fancy but looked rustic. Just rustic. There were all these little “heads-up” things about locking the doors & not leaving out food because the bears & mountain lions would just barge right in if they wanted to. And then they put these doors on the place that look like in one whack a bear could just barge right in!! Sure – they had wrought iron screen doors, but there was a notice not to lock them! I mean, really?? Don’t lock the one small defense against me & the wild??? Insanity I tell you. So I concluded – much as I’ve already known – I’m just not into rustic.
-I am pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before – but graceful is not something I claim to be. I used to be graceful. I took dance for 13 years – I had to have some semblance of grace to do that, right? We hiked, wandered, climbed all over the place exploring the land around our cabin. There were gorgeous rock outcrops, a lake, beautiful Aspen trees…it was all just gorgeous. It was also all on an incline. I managed to do it all in Rainbo flip flops & fare just fine. I mean, sure a plant stuck me in the toe, but life goes on. Lindsey had us climb to the bottom of the Incline, on steep rock strewn paths interspersed with rickety old wooden step. Managed it just fine in flimsy bejeweled sandal. Of course, then my Dad & I went to Florissant Fossil Beds State Park & decided to walk a mile long loop. That was totally flat. No hills. No incline. And it was on that trail that I decided to wipe out. Because obviously walking on flat ground is what gives me trouble. Scratched up my knee, ankle & even managed to tear a hole in my brand new (as in, maybe 14 hours old) athletic pants. The look on my Mom’s face when I returned with dried blood on my knee & pants covered in dust…priceless. As was my Dad’s horrified yelp of “NATALIE!!!” as I crashed to the ground. You can’t make this stuff up people. You just can’t.
-Epic sunburn. That’s really all you can call a sunburn that I still have almost 2 weeks later. Saturday will be two weeks since the AF vs. SDSU game & I am still peeling from the sunburn I received cheering on the Falcons. My nose may never be the same & thankfully my right ear only stayed swollen to half it’s size for a day or two.
-I also experienced a level of fatigue that I think only new parents feel. I slept restlessly on Thursday night & may have only gotten 3 hours of actual sleep before my alarm went off at 4:15 on Friday morning. I made it until almost 8 that night before the trouble really set in – but from then on…I felt like death. I’d been awake for going on 18 hours, with only 3 hours of sleep to support that much activity. I reached a point where just sitting still was too complicated. All I needed was a semi dark corner of a room that was semi warm & I would have probably completely collapsed. It was bad. So bad that I didn’t even feel like eating my delightful pasta at McKenzie’s Chop House. Thankfully, on Sunday afternoon when I came back from wiping out at the fossil park, I had a lovely snack of pasta waiting on me. Because time…and pasta, heal all wounds.
-Star Wars. Nothing really new here – except that I learned that I’m not the only nerdy one in my family because my sister loves watching it too! Nothing says Labor Day weekend like the power of the Force fighting it out against the Dark Side.

I guess that is really about it for Colorado. I’m sure I’ll think of something else that was funny or memorable – like maybe my spazzing out mere moments before we were supposed to go into the Mollie Kathleen Gold Mine. I’m not going to elaborate on that one right now. I’ll leave you wondering.

Work is ever the same. Just keep plugging along, doing insurance related stuff & trying to learn how to do things the way the higher ups want them done & keep everyone happy.

I’m trying to lose weight again – because honestly, I need to. I started drinking Slim Fast this past Monday & so far it’s going pretty good. I almost had a total breakdown last night & wanted to devour the last piece of my Grandma’s birthday cake…but I didn’t. It takes major self control & that is something I don’t really have complete mastery of yet. I’m trying to get past the hunger of the first week – usually if you can make it through that first week of feeling like your stomach is going to cave in & eat itself, it gets better & over time you don’t get hungry anymore. So, I’m living for that moment – since being hungry makes me cranky.

So there you go – my life at the moment. Basically I’m hungry, hanging on to what little money I have & getting ready to go at it alone. Oh, and I’m also clumsy & sunburned. I’m also blessed though – so very blessed. Because in all these things, I am saved by the grace of God & the same grace that saved me will get me through those little day to day struggles that can sometimes seem bigger than they really are. And that makes me think that I might be alright in the end – because it all gets better at the end, so if it isn’t all better, it must not be the end.

But that is the end of this post. 🙂